AU Olitz :1956 A work in progress
by HurricaneMandy
Summary: I still don't have a title yet, so please bare with me. This story is set in 1956 in Connecticut with Liv studying at Yale and Fitz in his final year of duty in the US Army.
1. Chapter 1

"Olivia Carolyn Pope!" It was never a good sign when her mother used her full name. She sat in the tree for a moment, looking out across her neighbors roof tops and contemplated answering. "If I have to come and look for you…" her mother threatened, and Olivia mournfully made the decent down to ground level. She wasn't ready to leave. The day her acceptance letter to Yale had arrived had been emotional for both her parents. Her father had been so proud he had cried and her mother had navigated her way around the entire house, rearranging everything in her well appointed house. Olivia would be leaving home.

Months had gone by and the time had done nothing to calm her nerves. Not only would she be away from the protective cocoon her parents had provided her with, she would be one of a handful of African American students in attendance at one of the world's most prestigious institutions. Class of 1960. Nothing in her life had prepared her for this. Academically, she knew she belonged but socially…she shook her head and marched towards the back door.

"What time were you supposed to leave?" her mother asked before she'd even entered the house.

"Mom…please" Liv pleaded. She would have rolled her eyes had she not dreaded the lecture on attitude and respect that would have followed.

"Your father is waiting in the car." Liv smiled at her mother and slid her arms around her waist, burying her face in her neck. She felt her mother smile and they stood like that until they heard the car horn. Her mother gripped her face, "Work hard and don't forget who you are." Liv couldn't control her eye roll as she laughed.

"How can I forget when I have you to remind me?" She picked up the last of ther things and headed out to the car.

The two hour drive to campus with her father was just what Liv had needed. Wordlessly, they settled into their routine. She would sprawl out on the back seat reading and would occasionally catch her fathers eye in the rear view mirror. They would always stop along the way for fries and a coke float and as her father watched her eat, Olivia felt taken care of.

"We're almost there." Her father looked back and smiled as if giving her time to prepare. It was all happening too fast. She could see the campus entry in the distance and she fought the urge to ask her father to turn the car around and take her back. She'd spent years anticipating this moment and now that it was here, she was terrified. As they drove through the tree lined streets of the campus Liv marvelled at the iconic Gothic architecture that was now to be her home for the next four years. The moment was here. She had arrived.

It was early evening and Liv was still trying to get situated. She'd arranged and rearranged her room several times, all the while her mother's advice ringing in her ears. "Order is freedom, baby. Messy people are prisoners." She watched out of her small window as other students arrived. She would need to venture out and find food soon. Just as she was putting her shoes on, there was a knock at the door. She froze and looked around, forgetting for a moment that this was her dorm room.

"I know you're in there!" A female voice shouted from the other side of the door. "I've been waiting hours for you to come out?"

"Who on earth could this be?" Liv thought as she pulled open the door. Before she could take a breathe the bright glow of a camera flash went off in her face, blinding her momentarily. "What are you doing?" Liv cried out as she stepped back and tested her eyes for residual blindness. When she was finally able to focus, the girl standing before her grinned, not a hint of apology.

"My parents call me Catherine, with a 'C' if you can imagine such conventionality. Those who admire my work call me Sienna Sky. She pushed past an astonished Liv and plopped down on the single bed. "And you are?"

"Olivia….that is people call me Olivia or Liv. Sometimes Livvie."

"Sometimes Livvie. I can live with that. You hungry?"

Liv looked the young brunette up and down. Dressed all in black with a camera round her neck she seemed completely unconcerned with manners or personal space. "Listen Cath…Sien…Miss Sky, I don't really…"

Catherine jumped off the bed and grabbed Liv by the shoulders. "Food. Now! You're wasting away. Let's go". She took her hand and led her out the door. Liv didn't know whether to be shocked or relieved at this unexpected abduction but she was hungry so she followed without complaint. Somehow the crazy brunette seemed to know her way through the maze of corridors that led to the dining hall.

"Miss Sky, how long have you been here?" Liv asked and was answered with a resigned sigh.

"Fine. You can call me Cat. Not Cathy or Caty. Only my brother calls me Caty." She laughed to herself. "Fitz will be delighted to know I've made a friend."

Before Liv could respond, another bright flash went off in her face. Her new "friend" was going to be a handful.

—-

Liv was more accustomed to the tranquil dinner time conversation that her parents engaged in, so was ill equipped to deal with Cat's continuous chatter. "You said your 'work' had admirers. What exactly do you do?"

Cat snapped another picture and laughed, "Mostly photography. A little drawing. Whatever creative endeavour needs me really. My brother calls me his muse. I cannot wait for you to meet him. He should be dropping of my last trunk later tonight before he leaves for New York". She clapped her hands excitedly. "Maybe he can take us for a drink off campus! Yes! We'll make him do it. We have to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Liv was already trying to think of an adequate excuse she could use to avoid Cat and her brother.

"Freedom darling!" Cat exclaimed with a flourish. "How can we not celebrate freedom?" She eyed Liv suspiciously. "You're not a conformist are you?"

Liv was unsure how to answer and thought "No!" to be the safest answer.

"Liar!" Cat's laughter was infectious and Liv realised that with no effort on her part, she'd made a friend.

She was just applying the finishing touches to her hair when Cat burst into her room. "You can't wear that!" Her eyes crinkled as she took in Liv's tidy ensemble. "We're going drinking, not to church." She opened Liv's closet and assessed its contents. "Where are your going out clothes? Did you only bring pastels?" She closed the doors and sighed. "Wait here. I have the perfect dress for you."

Liv stood in the centre of her room feeling chastened and a little offended. Her mother had picked out most of her clothes and her mother always looked nice. She looked at her reflection in the full length mirror. She'd never minded looking like her mom. She groaned. How out of touch was she?

Cat breezed back into Liv's room and held up the dress triumphantly.

"It's…red…"

"Trust me!" Cat reasoned. "I have a great eye. Red is good".

Liv stared at herself in disbelief. She looked…older. The bodice on the dress was cut a little lower that she would like and the halter neck made her feel exposed. Before the feeling that things were, once again, moving too fast overwhelmed her, Cat was grabbing her by the hand and pulling her unceremoniously out the door.

"Fitz!" Cat ran headlong towards the dark haired man standing beside a jet black Cadillac and launched herself into his arms. Liv kept her distance as he spun her round, suddenly feeling like an intruder.

"This is Livvie!" Cat reached for Liv and pulled her towards them and Liv was greeted by the bluest eyes and most penetrating gaze she had ever seen.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr…"

"Grant," he supplied in a soft, rich baritone as he offered his hand, "but you can call me Fitz."  
—-

They held hands momentarily and Liv felt warmed by the intensity of his appraisal. The rough texture of his hand grazed the skin on her palm and the need to the break the contact surprised her. She looked away but could still feel him studying her. A slight shiver went through her and she wished she'd worn one of her button down sweaters instead.

He had never touched skin so soft and even as he shoved his hands in his pockets, the memory of it lingered. Her perfume, fresh and light, filled his nostrils forcing him to take a step back as if out of harm's way. She was nothing like Caty. He didn't doubt his sister's ability to make friends but the shy, brown skinned girl standing in front of him was not her type. She was uncomfortable in her dress although the colour emphasised the soft blush of her lips. He sensed his sister's handiwork. Fitz hadn't expected this.

"Hot date?" It seemed more like a challenge than a question.

"No, we were just…well, Cat wanted to celebrate." Liv shot Caty a panicked look.

"Fitz, you know how much you love me?" Caty hugged his arm and gazed at him, eyes filled with adoration.

His eyes narrowed. He knew she was up to something. "God, Caty. What?"

"Well, Livvie and I were really hoping you would take us out for a drink in town. Today is a milestone in both of our young lives. Besides, I never get to see you or spend any time with you 'cause you're away so goddam much…" He covered her mouth with his hand.

"You mean a bar? He threw back his head and laughed. "You really expect me to take you two to a bar? You're barely out of high school."

"Oh Fitz, please!" She jumped and up and down on the spot hugging his arm tighter.

"Caty, don't start. It's not happening." He pried himself loose from her grip. "What happened to turning over a new leaf?"

"I'll turn it over tomorrow." She reached over to Liv, drawing her near. "Tonight I want to spend time with my new friend and my favourite brother before he goes back to serving his country."

Denying Caty anything was impossible. "I'm your only brother."

Caty smelled blood in the water. "One hour, tops."

"One hour!" He groaned with resignation and Caty squealed with delight, "But no bars. I'll think of something else"

"But…"

"No bars! Get in the car before I change my mind."

Liv sat in the back seat watching the sibling's playful interaction. Fitz was quiet, concentrating on the road while Caty talked enough for both of them. Occasionally he would brusquely quiet her down but she would laugh it off and continue sharing her observations. As an only child, their relationship fascinated Liv. She had several cousins but that wasn't the same. How different her childhood would have been growing up with someone like Caty around. She was suddenly aware that Fitz was watching her in the rear view mirror and when she caught his eye she looked away, flushed with embarrassment. It was the second time she'd caught him watching her and something about the way he looked at her made her feel exposed. What was he looking at? There was no denying it. Caty's brother was gorgeous. His dark hair was short in the back and sides and he had a strong, masculine jaw. His lips were full and seemed to have a permanent smirk. He was clearly athletic and his tall frame was lean, yet muscular. She chided herself for her foolish train of thought and concentrated on the view and they drove through the town.

He pulled up outside a run-down establishment and told them to wait in the car. Liv wasn't sure why but she felt excited. Fitz emerged from the bar carrying a large bottle and three glasses.

"Where are you taking us?" Cat asked as he started the engine.

"It's still pretty warm out; East Haven beach is close by."

Liv loved the ocean and living this close to it was a pleasure. Fitz drove onto the sand and they all climbed out of the car and stared out at the water. He found a picnic blanket in the trunk of the car and they sat down and watched as he opened the Champagne.

"A toast!" They held up their glasses as Caty cleared her throat. "To life, to love and to us." With that she downed the contents of her glass and Liv and Fitz laughed, sipping their champagne simultaneously.

They sat and drank in contended silence enjoying the fresh sea air. Liv couldn't understand why she felt so comfortable with people she'd known for less than three hours.

"Look at all this natural beauty!" Caty ran to the passenger side of the car and grabbed her camera. "I'm gonna take some pictures. Its been years since we've been here. God, I love the beach!"

Liv wasn't sure how she felt about being alone with Fitz. Something about the searching way he looked at her made her feel uneasy. She was suddenly overcome with shyness.

"What's your major?" he asked before taking a large swig of his champagne.

"Political Science." This felt like safe territory.

"Really?" Fitz arched an eyebrow. "I'm impressed. I don't know many women who are genuinely interested in Politics"

"Believe me, Mr Grant I don't know many men who are _genuinely _interested in politics either" She smiled and Fitz felt as is the sun had come out.

"Touché." He raised his glass in a silent toast. "But I don't imagine you do know many men."

There it was, that intense gaze. "How can you be so sure of that?"

Fitz didn't answer but instead topped up her glass with champagne.

"How long have you been serving in the military?" The champagne was working. She couldn't contain her curiosity about this man anymore.

"Four years. I have one year to decide what I'm going to do with my life."

"So you're not committed then?" She liked his directness and found his deep voice soothing.

"Five year is plenty commitment in my books." For the first time since they'd been introduced she turned to face him and looked him in the eye, waiting for him to continue. "Four years at WestPoint, five in the military. I'm ready to see what else life has to offer. I too am _genuinely_ interested in politics. It's kind of a family tradition. My father, his father…you know how it goes."

"Your father? _Governor_ Grant is your father? Now I'm impressed." Her laughter was musical.

The flash of Caty's camera went off, reminding them that they were not alone. "I feel like dancing. Livvie, let's dance." She ran to the car and turned on the stereo. Chuck Berry blasted into the evening air. Livvie couldn't say no to Chuck Berry. She allowed Caty to pull her up and they swivelled their hips in unison, careful not to spill their drinks. Liv allowed the music to move her and encouraged by the champagne she began to move more instinctively.

Fitz leaned back on his elbows and watched them. He smiled at his sister's enthusiasm but Liv drew his attention. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She raised her arms over her head and swayed her hips to the beat and he was spellbound. It was the most erotic thing he had ever seen and for a moment he allowed himself to think she was dancing just for him. She had no idea how alluring she was. He smiled inwardly; she was definitely a virgin. Mentally shaking himself he looked away. What was he thinking? The champagne was obviously getting to him.

"Girls, I have a long drive ahead of me. I'm taking you back." He needed to clear his head.

"What? No!" Caty whined, "We were just starting to have fun."

"I'm serious, Caty. Your one hour was up thirty minutes ago."

Liv sat quietly in the back of the car and Fitz felt guilty for ending her celebration. He needed to clear his head. Caty, however, looked mutinous but Fitz knew just how to reason with her. "If you leave quietly, I'll let you keep the rest of the champagne." It worked like a dream and within the hour, Fitz was on his way to New York, but his journey was plagued with the memory of perfume, sultry brown eyes and swaying hips.

(Click here to hear Koko Taylor's "I'm a woman".)

The evening was still warm and Liv felt overheated under the woollen covers of her strange new bed. She didn't want to think about Caty's brother but he had been on her mind from the moment they had said goodnight. She remembered the feel of his warm, work roughened hand enveloping hers and she was disappointed that he hadn't repeated the gesture. He seemed tense when he left, as if he'd left his casual, playful demeanour behind at the beach. Liv had known very few boys growing up and even fewer men. Perhaps the mercurial, changeable behaviour was part of the male character, although she'd never noticed it in her father.

She'd sat cross legged on the floor of Caty's dorm room for two hours. Caty had easily polished off the last of the champagne while they listened to Koko Taylor on the hifi. They'd gone from emulating Koko's raspy vocals to contemplating the definition of womanhood, a subject on which Caty imagined herself to be an expert.

"Being a woman is all about sex!" She lectured, her cheeks rosy from the alcohol. Everyone…Society…They all conspire to protect our virtue because they know that once we have sex, we'll understand our power."

"Surely you don't mean that sex is our only means of obtaining power?" Liv was sceptical of this idea, but was warming to the subject. Caty's intellectual reasoning would be a source of endless amusement.

"No…" Caty waved her hand dismissively before throwing a wicked grin in Liv's direction. But as weapons go, it's pretty explosive." She leaned back on her bed and studied Liv. "As you well know."

"Why me, exactly?" She now wished she hadn't asked that question.

"Are you kidding me? Fitz looked like he was about to spontaneously combust watching you tonight. That's some pretty powerful mojo you're wielding Livvie."

Liv had pretended to laugh it off but a feeling of growing unease lodged itself in the pit of her stomach. Soon after she'd mumbled some excuse about catching up on missed sleep and escaped to the sanctity of her room.

Now as she lay on top of her covers, she hoped rather than believed that Caty was wrong. She remembered the stark warning her mother had given her the day, Mr Thompson, her economics teacher, had given her ride home after school, a warning that had been designed to ensure Liv never accepted a ride again.

"Baby, have you looked in the mirror lately? Teacher or no, do not let your guard down. White men have been finding their way into coloured women's beds since….well, since forever. I just want you to be prepared."

The tone of her mother's speech had shocked Liv. At the time she'd been mortified and was glad her mother had agreed not mention it to her father. But now with Fitz's broad shoulders and firm full lips wreaking havoc with her imagination, the thought of what might happen if did somehow find his way into her bed made finding restful sleep impossible.

It was after 11 when Fitz finally drove into the gates of Fort Hamilton and his mind was now firmly on the task at hand. Colonel Adler was due back at 0900 the next morning. Fitz needed to be prepared for the conversation that would inevitably take place. At the request of his father, the Colonel had taken him under his wing when Fitz had first been placed under his command and he had used his considerable influence to get him posted within easy distance of Connecticut. He had been more like a father than a mentor. Fitz was grateful and that made the prospect of a confrontation all the more unappealing.

He had just turned out the light to his room when there was a faint knock at the door. He cursed under his breath. He knew exactly who it was.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" Mellie pushed past him without waiting for an answer.

"One of these days, someone's going to see you." Fitz closed the door and waited.

"You went home this weekend…"she turned to face him, waiting for his response.

"Mellie, we talked about this. Nothing can happen between us anymore."

She leaned her body against him, "We both know you don't mean that." She smiled as she moved her tongue across his mouth and teased his lips apart, urging him to kiss her.

It would have been so easy to take the comfort Mellie was offering but he now knew it came with a price.

"For God's sake Mellie…" He gripped her shoulders roughly, breaking the sensual spell she was trying to put him under. "Do you have any idea what you've done? I have to be the one to tell your father that we're not getting married. I had to go home to explain things to my parents."

"All I did was tell my father the truth. He asked about our relationship and I told him we were intimate. And we were. Very intimate…" She reached for him and it angered him that his body still responded to her. He grabbed her wrists, urging her towards the door.

"Go home Mellie. It's not going to work this time" With that he pushed her out into the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally heard her walking away.

"You're Olivia Pope…" Liv shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and there stood a young, somewhat overdressed young man. His facial expression was one of amusement.

"Can I help you?"

"I'll let you know," he replied cryptically, sitting down next to her. He extended his hand in a flamboyant gesture "I'm Raymond Taylor…of the Harlem Taylors."

Liv offered a reluctant smile and wondered if everyone she would meet would be this off beat and…unique. She had never felt so ordinary. "Nice to meet you Raymond." As they shook hands Liv studied his dapper attire. The bowtie and trilby hat were an interesting affectation.

"Why are you keeping this ol' tree company? Are you hiding out or something?"

"I'm too tired to move," Liv motioned towards her outstretched limbs. With only a day to go before the start of class, Liv had explored the campus, walking for hours as if memorizing every inch of the place with the soles of her feet. She had fallen in love with the Gothic architecture and the quirky, artistic structures that appeared in the most surprising places.

She'd found a tree that was secluded and yet provided the prefect vantage point from which to people watch. She took the opportunity to study her class schedule while relishing the last of the summer sun.

"Well, when I saw you sitting here…alone…I felt obliged to come and introduce myself."

Liv smiled, "Obliged?"

"Yes…obliged. How would it look if the only two black people in Connecticut didn't even know each other?"

"We're not the _only_ two." Liv smiled at his overstatement.

"Well we might as well be, half the people here probably think we're brother and sister." Liv threw her head back and laughed. "How do you think I knew your name? Some girl from your dorm accosted me and asked if I was "Olivia Pope's brother". I figured if she thought _we_ were related then you must be very good looking…which you are, by the way." Raymond's flair for the dramatic was clear and Liv's class schedule and need for solitude were soon forgotten.

They spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the grass, discussing any and every topic that came to mind. Liv felt at ease with Raymond and had it not been for the complaints of her empty stomach, would gladly have spent the rest of her evening deep in conversation.

"Can you walk? Do you need me to carry you?" He pulled her up and watched her gather her belongings."

"I should make it…just about." They walked slowly towards Liv's dorm room, neither eager to part company.

"I have a car. We could be in New York in a couple of hours if you wanna see a show or something next weekend?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" As she considered that what should have been a pleasant possibility, piercing blue eyes flashed across her mind's eye, surprising her. The reluctance to part ways with Raymond, who had been nothing but sweet and attentive, was replaced by a sudden need to escape.

"Would it be so bad if I was?"

"No, I just…" Liv felt sullen and ungrateful. "With classes starting I'm just not sure if I'll have time."

Raymond watched her, sensitive to the change in her demeanour. He opened his mouth as if to argue, but decided against it. Liv was relieved he didn't press the issue.

"Well, I have a car," he repeated. "Let me know if you ever need a ride." Without another word he turned and left.

Liv watched him retreat and felt guilty for her dismissivenes. He wasn't a fool and had seen though her vapid excuse. She hoped he hadn't been embarrassed but dating him was not an option. She was courting trouble by allowing herself to fixate on Fitz but it seemed beyond her control. Her romantic imagination was already consumed with a man who could never be hers and a relationship that was simply impossible.

—

"Come in and close the door Soldier." Colonel Adler continued to write furiously as Fitz approached his desk, waiting for orders. "Have a seat." He motioned towards the chair opposite him and nodded his permission.

Fitz had spent the last few days trying to establish the best way to handle this situation and knew there was no point playing coy. Colonel Adler was a man of exactly standards would tolerate nothing less than pure, unvarnished truth.

"I can't marry Mellie, Sir," he started, deciding that full disclosure was best. "It wouldn't be right". The Colonel raised his eyebrows and Fitz quickly corrected himself. "That is, it wouldn't be _fair_. Mellie is…great, and she deserves someone who loves her…who's in love with her…and I don't…that is, I'm not the right man."

Colonel Adler say back in his plush leather chair and studied the young man for whom, for the most part, he had great affection. Fitz was everything a young man of his background should be, hardworking, idealistic and came from a long line of military servicemen, all of who had served their country admirably. This conversation was proving extremely unwelcome.

He knew he had indulged his daughter. Most thought her spoilt but he admired her ambition and tenacity. She worked tirelessly for what she wanted and for now it seemed she wanted Fitz. What kind of a father would he be if he didn't help her to acquire him.

"I appreciate your candour son, but you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Mellie needs a man who can keep her in line, not some love sick puppy. She's been around marines to long and she won't back down from a fight. I think you're exactly the right man, despite your flowery speech about love."

He picked up his pen, intent on continuing his work. "Take a few days to think about it."

Fitz was stunned by Colonel Adler's obtuseness. "Colonel, with all due respect…"

"Son, don't talk to me about resect," the Colonel's voice rang through his office like a cracked whip. "After the way you've behaved with my daughter taking a few days to pause and reflect would be a courtesy I expect you to extend."

Standing outside the Colonel's office, Fitz slumped his shoulders against the wall, unable to contain his disappointment. He had hoped for an ally in Colonel Adler and yet he'd been dismissed and asked to think about his behaviour like an errant school boy. Mellie was not his only problem. There was also the issue of his parents who were still salivating at the prospect of an Adler - Grant marriage and now he had the demands of his commanding officer to contend with.

He would heed the Colonel's advice and take a few days to think. He needed an escape, time alone to contemplate the melodrama that was fast becoming his life. The urge to get off the base was overwhelming and for the first time in years he was grateful for his parents close proximity. He needed to go home.

—

Liv's first week as a college freshman went by in a haze of frenetic activity. There were textbooks to buy, classes to find and hectic schedules to navigate. Her normally ordered mind would have given in to turmoil had it not been for the calming and distracting influence of Raymond and Caty.

She and Raymond were now officially lunch buddies and had adopted the tree where they had first met as their unofficial meeting place. Raymond never failed see the humour in everything and was proving to be a great source of encouragement and unwitting entertainment. Liv was thankful that he hadn't asked her out again. She enjoyed his friendship and felt relieved to have escaped what would have been an awkward situation.

Her evenings were spent with Caty, who had decided to teach Liv everything she knew about photography. She tutored her on composition and lighting and had an incredible ability to find subjects that inspired her regardless of her surroundings. She was a force of nature and Liv easily understood how Caty could be considered someone's muse.

"You wanna get out of here this weekend?" Caty breezed into Livvie's room without knocking.

"And go where?" Liv asked, sensing another scheme in the offing.

"I just called home and my parents are in California for like a month. We'd have the house to ourselves. We could swim, drink overpriced wine and raid the kitchen at 2am if we wanted…" She fluttered her eyelashes imploringly at Liv.

"No Caty…no! I have a mountain of reading for next week…and you…did you actually make it to a class this week?" Liv had no intention of leaving campus although the prospect of spending the weekend at the Governor's mansion held definite appeal.

"We could leave after classes tomorrow and be back in time for you to call your parents on Sunday…"Caty ignored Liv's attempt at pragmatic argument. "Good times guaranteed."

"I don't have a bathing suit." Her resolve was weakening.

"I have millions of bathing suits…I can donate one if the cause is worthy." Undeterred, Caty opened Liv's closet and groaned at the contents. "I have never seen so many angora sweaters in one place. I would help you pack but…I have allergies."

"Insulting my clothes won't help." Liv knew she had lost and reached under her bed for her smallest suitcase. Caty smiled triumphantly.

"I'll pick you up straight after class." She called over her shoulder as she left. "Be ready!"


	2. Chapter 2

Millstreams had become the official Governor's mansion in 1945 and the Grant family were the second family to take up residence since. Situated in the small, charming town of Farmington in Hartford and overlooking Farmington Lake, the estate was stunning and boasted some of the most gloriously well-tended gardens in Connecticut. Liv feasted her eyes on the sumptuous oak filled countryside and when Caty pulled into large wrought iron gates and drove up the stone coloured driveway, Liv was greeted by the most spectacular view.

The house itself was an imposing two storey Colonial structure she imagined was steeped in history and Liv admired the glorious symmetry of the building. She couldn't wait to explore and take in every element of the wonderful Georgian inspired architecture. "What do you wanna do first?" Caty asked as she swept into the front door. Liv didn't answer. She was too enamoured by the splendid opulence that greeted her. Gleaming hardwood floors and antique furniture gave the impression of a Parisian salon yet somehow was still in keeping with New England style.

"This is incredible Caty" she exclaimed as she gazed up at the ornate crystal chandelier that seemed to dominate the large entry way.

Caty was amused by her friend's raptured reverie. "I'll show you around later," she said, dragging Liv in her wake. "We'd better find Anna and let her know we're here."

Still carrying her suitcase Liv followed her through several hallways, promising herself she would come back and examine each and every painting. Before long, she found herself standing in a sizable open plan kitchen. There were large bay windows that looked out over the back of the estate revealing more immaculately kept gardens and Liv was amazed at the sheer expanse of the place.

"What in the Lord's name…Miss Catherine?"

Liv jumped, as though they had been caught breaking in. She found herself being keenly appraised by a pair of steely black eyes.

"Anna!" Caty exclaimed joyfully, "I missed you and decided to drive home for the weekend." They embraced warmly and Anna gave a questioning tip of the head in Liv's direction. "This is my friend Livvie…you'll have two of us to take care of this weekend."

"Do your folks know you're here… both of you?" She raised her eyebrows and Liv couldn't miss the emphasis. She felt conspicuous and out of place.

"Don't be like that…you'll give Livvie the impression that she's unwelcome." The older woman's feature's softened imperceptibly and she smiled, which transformed her stern face into a picture of warmth.

"You are very welcome, Miss Livvie" With that she turned back to Caty. "I'm guessing you two will need feeding soon."

"Yes!" Caty pretended to swoon from hunger. "You have no idea how much I've missed your cooking."

"They not taking care of you over at that fancy college?"

"Not nearly enough and nowhere near as well as you." Anna looked at Liv and rolled her eyes and with that, all tension was diffused.

"Why don't you two go on upstairs and settle in. Miss Livvie can take the blue room. I'll let you know when dinner's ready…Oh and Miss Catherine…" She stopped the two girls in their tracks. "I have the key to the cellar door."

Although she was smiling, the warning was unmistakable. "Don't worry," Caty whispered as they headed towards the staircase, "Dad keeps a spare hidden in his study."

—-

Liv looked around the room that was to be hers for the next two days and felt thoroughly spoiled. It was a combination of pastel blue and light florals which Cathy described as "bourgeois and outdated" but Liv felt was perfect. There was a king-sized cushion covered bed, plush wall to wall carpeting and a set of doors that led out onto a large balcony overlooking the rear of the house. Liv gasped with excitement as she caught sight of the lake. She had never seen a more captivating landscape and was delighted that Caty had overruled her objections and strong armed her to into accepting her invitation.

She planned to wander around the grounds at the earliest opportunity, if she could escape her overly zealous host for a bit, and find a corner in one of the gardens from which to read the book she had secretly bought with her and write a letter to her father Caty proved to be excellent tour guide and managed to keep her unfavourable opinion of her mother's taste in décor somewhat under wraps while she played hostess. Liv marvelled at the attention to detail. Although Caty had never spoken much about her parents, the meticulous care they had taken in creating such a beautiful home was evident.

They sat down to a dinner of braised lamb that made a welcome change from the bland canteen fare and both girls polished off their meal in contended silence. While they ate, Liv threw longing glances at the gardens visible from the expansive bay windows. She longed to be outside.

"After dinner we can go swimming in the lake if you wanna risk it?" offered Caty, sensitive to her friend's plight.

Livvie laughed, "Dying of hypothermia sounds tempting but I'll pass, thank you."

"Come on…"Caty cajoled. "We have a fire pit on the patio. We can get that going and then warm ourselves around the fire." She got up and cleared their plates from the table. "Wait here," she whispered and taking off her shoes ran noiselessly out of the kitchen. A few minutes later she returned and presented Liv with a bottle of red wine, her face a picture of triumph. "There's plenty more where that came from."

They sat in front of the cast iron fire pit, drinking wine and looking up at the night sky. The combination of the Merlot and the roaring blaze created a festive atmosphere and Caty decided it was time to brave the icy waters and go swimming. "What about bathing suits?" Liv asked, having no intention of moving. Caty grabbed her hand and started running towards the lake. "Don't need them…We're going skinny dipping."

—-

It was later than planned when Fitz finally pulled into the driveway on Friday night. The last thing he'd expected to see was Caty's Chevrolet and he was a little irritated to see that she was there. He'd been hoping for a quiet weekend drowning his sorrows in Single Malt. That wouldn't happen if Caty was around. What the hell was she doing at home anyway?

The house seemed deserted and he wondered if she'd gone to bed already. Heeding the demands of his empty stomach, Fitz decided to get something to eat before beginning his assault on his father's 30 year old Glendronach. As he scoured the contents of the refrigerator he noticed that the door leading out to the patio was open. Caty was obviously still up. He strolled onto the patio expecting to see her but was greeted with the unexpected sight of an unattended open fire, a half empty bottle of Merlot and two used glasses. She wasn't alone. His first instinct was to run up to her bedroom, unprepared though he was for what he might find there. The sound of familiar laughter drifted up from the direction of the lake and he started down the floodlit pathway that led down to the water. He silently cursed his hedonistic young sister, wondering what new nightmare she was about to involve him in when he stopped dead in his tracks. It was Olivia.

She was floating on her back, her hands and feet gently treading water and although he was still a fair distance away there was no mistaking it; she was naked. Fitz stared open-mouthed, uncertain whether to turn back or announce his presence. She moved through the water with effortless grace and he watched, in rapt fascination, as she disappeared under the water and emerged with a showy arc that earned applause from his sister. His breath hitched in his throat at the unhindered view of her slender form and he felt a twinge of guilt for invading her privacy. He dragged his reluctant eyes away and with long strides, headed back to the house.

With only a dim lamp for lighting, Fitz settled into the oversized leather armchair in his father's study and sipped moodily at his glass of Scotch. His life was no longer his own. The weight of expectation, which he'd hoped to ease with his frank discussion with the Colonel, threatened to overwhelm him and he gulped down the contents of his glass and poured another. He had to find a way to reason with Mellie. The prospect of a life married to her was unbearable, regardless of how perfectly suited their families imagined them to be. Why did the women in his life have to cause him such trouble?

The presence of Olivia in the house was a further complication he could have done without. The image of her gleaming wet skin had taken up residence in his mind from the moment he'd seen her swimming and the whiskey was doing nothing to dispel it. He finished his second glass and stubbornly poured a third going ahead with his plan to drink himself into a stupor.

—-

The late night swim had done Liv a world of good and she had enjoyed the unexpected sense of freedom that swimming naked had given her. She couldn't wait to do it again. Ordinarily she would have been too modest to show her body in front of another person, but Caty's uninhibited ways were clearly rubbing off on her. The girls had stayed in the water until the cold had got the better of them and then they had sat by the fire, wrapped in warm blankets, drinking the rest of the wine. This was exactly what she had needed.

Liv checked the bedside clock. It was after two o'clock in the morning yet, despite the comfort of her massive bed, it was impossible to get to sleep with the wine still flowing through her system. She decided to get a drink of water and crept bare foot towards the kitchen. As she neared the bottom of the staircase she heard music. Someone was playing the piano. She recognised the exquisite melody of Beethoven's Sonata No.8 She headed in the direction of the piano music and stood outside the door of what she remembered was the Governor's private study. She peered through the crack in the door. It was Fitz.

The room was dimly lit and she watched as he sat at the keys of the baby grand, still dressed in his uniform. She couldn't deny the thrill of excitement that went through her when she realised he was there. She was amazed at the skill with which he played the notoriously romantic piece and listened intently as he brought the haunting music to life. As soon as he had struck the last chord, she turned to leave, but the sound of his voice made her jump.

"You may as well come in." he said, his tone far from welcoming.

Liv froze wondering if she should just run back to her room and pretend she had never been there, but he had seen her and she didn't want to be rude. She opened the door tentatively and waited, uncertain if it was wise to go in seeing as she was only dressed in a thin night gown.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I had no idea you were here," She said contritely.

"You're not disturbing me." He answered, unable to shake off his sullen mood. Liv walked into the room and closed the door behind her. "You play beautifully."

Fitz ignored the compliment. "Do you want a drink?" he asked. "Not sure if I have any red wine in here." He smiled to himself as he picked up his glass and continued to drink.

Liv stayed by the door prepared to leave at any moment. He was drunk.

"You don't have to stand there like a frightened little bird. I'm not going to hurt you."

Liv kept her position by the door, not saying a word.

"Oh, so now you can't speak? So why did you come in here? Hmm?" He seemed to be talking more to himself that to her. "Don't play the innocent you know exactly what you're doing. You all do. All you women know exactly what you're doing." He took another swig of his drink.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Liv said when she could finally find her voice.

"I don't want you to say anything, I just want…" he looked at her and in that moment Liv saw something in his eyes that she understood. She had seen it in her father and as a child had learned to simply sit with him without speaking or asking anything from him. Her calming, undemanding presence always seemed to help and right now, she knew just what to do.

"Pour me drink" Her voice sounded more confident than she felt. She moved away from the door and started slowing walking around the room looking at the pictures on the walls and taking in her surroundings. Fitz poured her drink and handed it to her without saying a word. She remembered what Caty had told her and she knew that he liked watching her. As she walked around the room looking at paintings and books she could feel his eyes on her and she felt feminine pride well up inside her. She took a long sip of the fiery drink he had given her and continued her tour of the study, her movements deliberate and unhurried, knowing that his eyes never left her.

He knew the game she was playing and was surprised at how effective it was. She was gentling him and she did so with the skill of a lion tamer. It was taking all the strength he had not drag her into his arms and kiss her till she was breathless and wanting but she was too young and still very innocent although, she could teach grown women a thing or two about seduction. She moved around the room with a quiet confidence, scarcely looking in his direction. The effect was compelling. She had no idea of the dangerous game she was playing. She was about to learn.

He walked up behind her, not touching her, but close enough so she couldn't mistake his intention. His body was inches from hers and she could feel the warmth radiating from him. She could smell his aftershave and the alcohol on his breath, and despite the warning going off in in her head she didn't move a muscle. She was waiting. Neither of them said a word as he gently ran his fingers up and down her spine and finally placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. Still she didn't turn around and the need to see her, to taste her grew. He was desperate for her to turn around. After a few moments as if in response to his unspoken demand she turned around without any hesitation she placed her lips over his and kissed him.

Liv had no idea where this confidence was coming from but the desire she sensed emanating from him and, perhaps, the strong alcohol she had drunk seemed to give her courage. He teased her lips, taking each in between his own and sucking, easing them into a sensual rhythm. Desire surged through her body and she wound her arms around his neck, clinging to him for support. He drew her tongue into his mouth, the sensation so glorious that she let out a moan and arched her body into him.

Fitz groaned at the sweetness of her awakening passion. They kissed and kissed each other and any hope he had of taking things slow evaporated. His persuasive mouth demanded everything from her, coaxing her response and she gave it, holding nothing back. Fitz was lost and in his mindless passion he pulled down the sleeve of her almost sheer nightdress and closed his hungry mouth over her nipple. Olivia was shocked at the feeling of him sucking her breast and she used all her strength to push him away. She took a step back feeling shameless and wanton as she pulled up the strap of her nightdress. They were both breathless and Olivia watched Fitz rub his hands over his face trying to regain his composure.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you," he said while reaching for her.

Liv moved out of his reach and headed towards the door. She was trembling and it wasn't because of the cold. She suddenly felt lonely and afraid.

"This should never have happened. I should never have been here." She said before opening the door and running at full speed back to her room. She wanted to be angry with Fitz but in truth she was mortified by what she had allowed to happen. As she climbed back into her bed she swallowed back tears of humiliation and wanted nothing more than to escape. She wanted to go home, which was impossible, so she would have to convince Caty to take her back to campus tomorrow. She couldn't face him again. She had to leave this place as soon as possible.

Liv was woken the next morning by an exuberant Caty jumping onto the bed beside her. Liv felt as if she'd only had an hours sleep so the excited face staring down at her was the last thing she needed to see.

"What the heck happened to you" Caty's usually flawless brow was furrowed with concern.

"What do you mean?" Liv asked, touching her hand to her mouth. The memory of last night caused fresh embarrassment to flush her cheeks. Was it that obvious?

"You look like you've been crying all night. What's going on?" How could Liv tell her what had happened in the study when she herself was unsure of exactly what had taken place? One minute she was going to get a drink of water the next, she was a willing participant in her own seduction. The sensation of his mouth on her breast had terrified her because she had wanted it so much. She had run because she had felt a yearning of mind, heart and body that she knew would jeopardize everything and she still had no real idea what he wanted from her.

"I think I may have drunk too much wine." Now was the time to lay some groundwork. "I don't think I'll be very good company."

"I don't care if you're good company or not." Caty said defiantly. "We're going to spend the day relaxing by the lake. I'll drink, you can watch.

"It's a little early to start drinking isn't it?" Liv could feel her slender hopes of getting a ride back to Yale begin to evaporate.

"Yes it is early, Judgey McJudgerson" Caty retorted. "But since I have no demands on my time except swimming, eating and relaxing, I'll take my chances."

Liv decided a direct approach was probably best. "I need to get back to campus and I need you sober so you can drive me."

"No…" Caty replied without the slightest hesitation.

"No? What if I had some sort of family emergency?"

"Do you have some sort of family emergency?" Caty asked.

"If I said yes would you take me back to campus?"

Caty thought for a moment…"No." she answered with an air of finality. "You promised me a weekend and you are going to give me a weekend. I don't care if you have to spend the day curled up in the foetal position, you will stay until tomorrow." She stood up from the bed and went to open the heavy drapes. "Family emergency, my ass," she muttered under her breath.

Liv stayed buried under the covers while Caty opened the balcony door and watched with growing amusement as she threw her hands up in the air and screamed "Family emergency my ass!" at the top of her lungs. Both girls dissolved into fits of hysterical laugher and though she didn't want to admit it, Liv was feeling better already. Caty didn't seem to wonder or care why Liv wanted to go home early and Liv didn't want to disappoint her. It seemed pointless to argue and this was an enormous house, after all. What was the likelihood she would see him today anyway?

Anna had anticipated the girl's ravenous appetite and had a mountain of pancakes, grilled bacon and the world's most freshly squeezed orange juice waiting for them on the patio. Liv couldn't deny the unparalleled pleasure of eating outside and it wasn't long before the delicious food and Caty's energetic company pushed the previous night's events to the back of her mind. The thought of going home was quickly losing its appeal. With the feel of the sun warming her skin, the idea of spending the day lounging by the lake swimming was incredibly inviting, fully clothed though it would have to be.

Choosing a bathing suit out of Caty's vast closet was like a shopping spree in itself. Liv couldn't understand why someone who had so many beautiful clothes wore nothing but Rizzo shirts and black capris. She settled on a light blue ruffled bikini and they changed in Caty's room before grabbing towels, Caty's portable record player and a large beach umbrella and headed down to the lake. They were determined to spend the whole day camped there. By now, Liv had completely relaxed. Neither Caty nor Anna had even mentioned Fitz all morning. Perhaps she'd been lucky and he had decided to leave. Comforted by that possibility, Liv finally allowed herself to be carefree.

The girls spent the morning in uninterrupted bliss. They swam until their skin puckered up and then, when the sun became too hot, laid the large umbrella on its side, creating a temporary shelter. They felt lazy and satisfied, the heat making them drowsy.

"You do realize that if it wasn't for me, you would be staring at dingy campus walls by now." This was Caty's version of "I told you so"."

"Sure," Liv replied feeling too mellow to give a suitable response.

"Can I ask you something?" Caty leaned up on both elbows, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Sure," Liv repeated unthinkingly.

"Are your parents happy? I mean in their marriage…Are they happy?"

Liv was surprised by the question, mostly because she wasn't entirely sure of the answer.

"I guess…most of the time." She knew she was being vague. "Are yours?" she asked, hoping to finally get some insight into her friend's family.

"They hate each other," Caty's reply was so matter of fact that Liv was stunned, but Caty seemed determined to continue. "The only things they agree on are money and power. My mother's money and my father's power…and Fitz…they both agree on Fitz being their bright shining star. He's the hope of a nation, bred to take over the world." Liv couldn't tell if she was joking.

"And you?" she asked.

"My parents assume I'll end up living in Paris shacked up with a painter or a poet. So long as I don't get arrested, I've always been allowed to roam free, but Fitz? They expect everything from him and I have no doubt he'll deliver."

"No doubt I'll deliver what?"

Both girls jumped at the sound of his voice and while Liv wanted to disappear into the sand, Caty launched herself into her brother's arms, covering his cheeks in noisy kisses. "How long have you been here?" she demanded.

"I only just crept up on you. I wanted to surprise you."

"No, you idiot," she slapped his arm. "When did you get home?"

"Late last night," he replied," I head back tomorrow morning."

"So we have you for the rest of the day." Caty said excitedly.

"Yes," Fitz replied, looking at Liv for the first time." You have me for the rest of the day."

Caty noticed the direction of his glance and said, with a knowing grin, "You remember Livvie don't you?"

"Of course," he replied, walking over to Olivia and taking her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. "How could I forget? Nice to see you again." He squeezed her hand she didn't miss the gleam in his eye.

"Nice to see you too, Mr Grant," she answered with feigned politeness." This was an interesting way of avoiding the inevitable awkwardness.

"Fitz please, call me Fitz." He waited.

"Fitz," she repeated and his lips curled into a self-satisfied smile.

He sat down, careful not to sit too near her and presented the picnic basket he'd been carrying. "I come bearing gifts" he said. "Anna gave me enough food to feed a small army. She seems to think you two are wasting away."

The three of them tucked into the sandwiches and sodas and Liv was struck once again by the feeling of contentedness she'd felt the first time they'd met. As she watched Fitz, she was surprised that the recrimination and judgment she expected were not forthcoming. He was friendly and charming and aside from noticing his gaze linger on her once in a while, it was as if last night had never happened.

As the afternoon wore on and the conversation continued to flow with ease, Liv couldn't help but remember the events of the previous night. She remembered the raggedness of his breathing and the urgent grip of his hands at her waist. His mouth had feasted on hers with a desperation that she had understood and secretly shared. She was not as naïve as some imagined. She understood what it meant for a man to desire a woman, but she had been a fool to think she had been in control of the situation.

The first opportunity for them to talk alone came when Caty decided she was tired of the records they had brought and went up to the house to fetch some more. Liv suspected her clever friend was giving them space and that a thorough interrogation was on the cards. As soon as she was out of earshot, Fitz leaned towards her.

"I wanted to apologise again for last night. I let things get out of hand and I'm sorry. You're here as my sister's guest and I should never have taken advantage of you the way I did. Please don't feel like you have to avoid me. You have nothing to fear, I promise you."

The frankness of his apology impressed Liv and she could think of no logical reason not to accept it. He was generously taking the blame for what had happened even though she had kissed him first.

"Although," he said as he edged closer to her, "it wasn't very nice running out on me like that." His mouth was close to her ear and his voice had taken on the same quiet intimacy as last night. "You left me high and dry."

Liv turned to him and asked the question that had plagued her thoughts all night. "What is it you want from me?"

"I don't know," he said shaking in his head. "I just know that since last night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you…touching you…and I don't understand why you ran." His eyes were searching hers and Liv knew she had to give him an answer.

"I was scared." She whispered. "I've never kissed anyone before and I didn't expect it to be so…" she paused, grasping for the right word.

"So good?" He supplied and Liv nodded, certain that her voice would break if she tried to speak. The pull between them was magnetic.

He ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip. "Let's go somewhere." He whispered, his mouth achingly close and Liv felt a clenching deep in her belly at the need she heard in his voice."

"We can't. "She shook her head. "We can't just disappear. What would Caty think?"

"Right now, I don't care what she'd think. I just need to be alone with you."

"We are alone," She smiled provokingly.

His eyes darkened as they roamed over her bikini clad body, "Well, this time I don't want any interruptions."

"We can't," She repeated, "Not now."

"Ok then, meet me tonight…once everyone goes to bed. Tell me where and I'll meet you.

"I'll think about it…" She replied before pushing him away, certain her friend would return and see them sitting closer together than was absolutely necessary. Liv knew there was nothing to think about. She knew she would say yes.


	3. Chapter 3

That night there seemed to be an unspoken agreement under which everyone seemed to be operating. Liv and Caty were taking extra care with their appearance, trying on virtually every dress from Caty's ample closet and converting the large marble guest bathroom into a makeshift Elizabeth Arden beauty spa. They had buffed and polished their skin till they were rosy and glowing and then proceeded to smother themselves in a floral scented body lotion which Liv decided was simply heaven in a bottle.

Anna, for her part, had decided to serve dinner in the main dining room, lending an air of formality to the evening. The latter part of the afternoon had been spent helping her prepare, laying the polished mahogany table with the best crystal, cutlery and linens the mansion had to offer. They had even polished the antique candelabras and washed the Royal Doulton china which, Anna proudly proclaimed, was only ever used for visiting dignitaries.

At Fitz's prompting she had even granted the girls access to the wine cellar and allowed them to select one bottle of champagne to toast the occasion. They were making a fuss over her and Liv couldn't help but be flattered that her final night at Millstreams was being treated as an impromptu celebration.

Standing in front of the full length, gold rimmed mirror, Liv held up the sleek black evening dress that Caty had chosen for her to wear, angling her roller covered head and enjoying the feel of satin against her skin. The thin spaghetti straps showed off more of her arms and shoulders than she was accustomed to and the soft, glossy fabric clung to her body like a second skin lending her an air of sensual sophistication. The scent of lavender and sandalwood from the lotion she'd used clung to the air and she felt fresh and feminine with a growing sense of anticipation at the night ahead.

"I have gloves in white or black…take your pick." Caty held up two pairs of satin elbow length gloves and smiled as she watched Liv in the mirror.

"You don't think gloves will be too much?" Liv asked.

"I thought we agreed that the theme for tonight was 'Over-the-top glamour'," she waved the gloves around for emphasis. "Choose!" She demanded.

"Black," Liv decided, reaching for the gloves just as Caty snatched them away and handed her the white ones instead.

"White is better...you don't want to look like you're dressed for a funeral."

"White it is then…" Liv sighed resignedly, and under Caty's watchful eye, slipped out of her bathrobe and stepped into the elegant dress, wriggling her hips to get the tight fitting fabric over them. She was becoming used to having an audience.

Cathy stood behind her to do up her zip and paused, catching her eye in the mirror.

"How far have things gone with you and Fitz?" Her tone was one of mild curiosity but her usually jovial expression was decidedly firm.

Liv was completely taken aback by the question, although she had been expecting this conversation all afternoon. Her first instinct was to lie.

"Nothing has happened. We talked, that's all...Why would you think anything had happened?" She tried to inject her voice with just the right amount of shocked indignation to allay Caty's suspicions. She didn't like to think herself capable of such deceit, especially to someone who had been as kind and generous to her as Caty had been, but somehow she felt the situation warranted it. She waited, knowing her friend was far from satisfied.

Caty gave a wry smile. "Liv, I almost choked on the sexual tension between you. I don't think I've ever seen two people try harder not to look at each other." She paused and asked again, her face marred with concern. "How far have things gone?"

Liv was finding her friend's forward questioning both unsettling and a little irritating. Wasn't she entitled to some sort of privacy? "Caty, I saw him yesterday the same time you did, "she answered, averting her eyes to avoid detection. "When exactly was there time for anything other than conversation?" In this instance, attack seemed to be the best form of defence.

Caty looked contrite. "Livvie, I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like I'm accusing you of anything it's just that…"She paused and for the first time since Liv had met her, she seemed unsure. "It's just that I know how Fitz can be. He's very…persuasive. I don't want to see you get hurt that's all…" Caty leaned her chin against Liv's shoulder and wrapped her army around her in a brief, conciliatory hug.

As the girls finished getting ready, Caty's words continued to work their way through Liv's now agitated mind, threatening to spoil an evening that had held such promise. As she applied a final layer of red lipstick and admired her reflection in the mirror she made a resolution and decided to put her Caty's warning to the very back of her mind, at least for tonight.

Tonight she felt beautiful and desirable and a thrill of excitement ran through her at the prospect of Fitz's reaction when he first saw her. She knew instinctively that he would be pleased. She had dressed with him in mind, seeing his hands running over her satin covered form. Even as she'd tied her hair up in a simple chignon, she'd imagined him trailing soft kisses down the back of her neck. Tonight was not the night for caution. She had come this far and made her intentions known. She wanted to know the fulfilment that lay behind his whispered longing. She wanted to know just how far she could go and just how far he could take her. Tonight was their night.

Dinner was glorious but Liv could hardly concentrate on the sumptuous three course meal. Anna's exceptional culinary skills were on dazzling display and Liv was determined not to appear spoilt and ungrateful. She tried to enjoy the meal, offering compliments and singing praises, but for the most part she was simply being polite. It was becoming a chore feigning interest in food and cultivated dinner conversation when she was actually wondering how improper it would be to rush Caty off to bed so she and Fitz could finally be alone

From the moment he'd walked in the dining room, Fitz had felt like a captive animal, straining to escape the confines of his cage. His sister's incessant chatter grated on his already tense nerves and he had no real appetite for the food that was lovingly placed in front of him. He sipped his wine and made all the right noises in all the right places, pretending to enjoy himself. The evening was taking too long and he regretted playing along with Anna and Caty's scheme to turn this evening into such an overblown affair. He wanted her.

The dress she was wearing had been made for her. It clung to her slender body with devastating effect, giving him a tantalising view of the ripening curves that lay underneath it. That said, he still preferred her in the thin whispery nightdress she's worn the other night. It was an effort to focus his attention elsewhere when all he wanted to do was sit back and look at her. She was putting on a good show, listening attentively to Caty prattling on about beatnik poetry. As he watched her eat, her full, rose coloured lips pursed around the fork and his mind was consumed with fevered imaginings. How soon could he put an end to this blasted dinner without looking too eager?

Fitz was attentive, checking to make sure she'd finished each course, offering to top up her drink. He was breathtakingly handsome. The crisp white shirt looked wonderful against his tanned skin and the sleek, black dinner suit emphasised his broad shoulders and muscular thighs. Liv summoned all available willpower to avoid staring at him. The way his fingers gripped the wine glass; the way his tongue ran over his lips in between mouthfuls; the low rumble of approval that he made when he tasted the crème brulee Anna had taken great pains over. Everything about him seemed indulgent and hinted at unrestrained passion; Liv could scarcely believe this virile, dangerously potent man wanted her.

On the few occasions that they did lock eyes, Liv would feel the tightening in her lower belly that seemed to have become her permanent state since he's touched her lips earlier by the lake. She was yearning for him in places she could still not bring herself to articulate. Every time he leaned over her to refill her drink the heady scent of his aftershave enveloped her, filling her with a longing to bury her face in the hollow of his neck and breathe him in. Every sense she possessed was aware of him. What would happen tonight when he finally touched her?

"Fine…I give up." Caty threw her hands up in mock despair. "You two obviously need to be alone and I can't take it anymore. I'm going to bed."

"No Caty…No!" Liv shot Fitz a desperate look, stunned and embarrassed by Caty's unexpected outburst, but he remained exactly where he was as if determined to see this little drama play out.

"Don't worry about me Liv. I'll just head to bed and tuck myself in with some warm milk and read myself to sleep." She shot Fitz a resentful look. "See what you've driven me to?"

Fitz was completely unapologetic, merely planting a consoling kiss on top of her head. "It'll be good for you."

Caty drew Liv into a tight hug and whispered, "I expect details…not too many…just a few…in fact no…spare me…I could do without the details." She shook her head as if to shake the images loose and left without another word.

She had barley left the room before Fitz rolled his eyes with relief and said "I thought she'd never leave."

"You're awful." Liv was trying not to laugh. "I feel awful…I'm starting to wonder just what sort of a brother you really are."

"The regular kind. I spend half my time looking out for her, the other half trying to get rid of her. Caty makes both jobs very difficult."

"I think we hurt her feelings," Liv continued, wondering if she should go after Caty and explain.

"No," he replied matter of factly, "we didn't. She's the most resilient person I know. She'll find a way to pull through." He was teasing her.

"Well maybe I'll go to bed and find a good book to keep me company too."

"After everything you've gone through to finally get me alone?" He asked, raising his eyebrow provokingly and earning himself a playful slap across the arm. "Besides," he continued with smile, taking her hand in his and leading her out of the dining room, "I don't think you've been given the complete Millstreams tour. It is my duty to rectify that oversight right now."

Liv followed in his wake as he led her through the kitchen and out onto the darkened patio, stopping to pick up a rucksack that was sitting on the wooden table.

"Where are we going?" she asked, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"I told you. I'm going to show you the rest of the grounds." He tipped his head towards the mass of trees and undergrowth that ran alongside the lake. Sensing a slight chill in the night air he took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders. "Trust me. It'll be worth it." He laced his fingers through hers and they started down the path towards the lake.

They walked in silence till they reached the end of the walkway and turned onto the sand. Liv stopped to take off her shoes and they continued slowly along the water's edge, enjoying the moonlit stillness of the lake. The night was beautiful.

"You never realise how little you know someone until they're leading you by the hand into a dark forest." Liv remarked jokingly, wary of the lack of visibility. "You need to tell me where we're going."

"You'll have to wait and see." The feel of his warm hand gripping hers was reassuring and Liv knew she was perfectly safe. As they reached the edge of the forest, Fitz dug a torch out of the rucksack shining the bright light into the dense bramble.

"I can't go in there barefoot." Liv said, looking at the dark, uneven ground and shuddering at the thought of what might lurk there.

"You're right," He seemed to contemplate the dilemma for a moment, staring at her small sand covered feet, before picking her up and hoisting her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift. Liv let out a scream that was punctuated with shocked laughter.

"Scream all you want," He laughed along with her. "No-one will hear you."

He moved through the trees and low hanging branches with surprising agility leading them deeper into the woods and Liv felt a sense of freedom begin to take over. There was nothing sensible about what she was doing; all caution had been thrown headlong into the wind. She was being carried through the middle of a forest somewhere in Connecticut by a man she'd only known for the best part of a week and she felt more alive than at any other moment in her eighteen years.

They arrived at a small, isolated cabin that sat in a tree lined clearing and Liv could still see the moonlit lake shining through the trees. Fitz lowered her to the ground with deliberate slowness, bringing his body into stirring contact with hers. For a moment she thought he would kiss her right there but instead, he reached behind her, opening the well weathered door.

"We're here." He turned the key and allowed her to enter first and Liv found herself standing in a large room, unable to make out her surroundings.

"Give me a moment to get some lights going." He said, shining the torch around the cabin. He emptied the contents of his rucksack on what appeared to be a small dining table and Liv heard the sound of matches being struck as he started to light candles which had been strategically placed all around the room.

Liv stood and watched in amazed silence as he lit all the candles. The wooden floors were covered with brightly patterned rugs and the weathered furniture added a rustic charm. The large bed which dominated the small room had fresh linen and cushions and there was a cosy, throw-covered couch that sat in front of a large open fire place. It didn't occur to her to wonder why they'd left the comfort and luxury of the mansion for a rustic cabin that had clearly seen better days. It was perfect.

"I love this place," Fitz said, as if reading her mind. "I discovered it a few summers ago and spent some time fixing it up. I stay here sometimes when I'm home.

"Do you bring girls here?" Liv asked, before she had time to think better of it, unable to mask her jealousy.

"You're the first." He replied, and a small, satisfied smile crossed her face. She watched his quick effortless movements as he set about building a fire and stood in front of it, basking in the warm glow of the flames. She reluctantly removed his jacket before sinking into the couch, tucking her feet under her.

"When did you do all this?" she asked motioning around the room.

"I came here earlier to get things set up. I thought it would be nice to get away from that house." He poured her a glass of wine and sat down on the couch beside her. "When I'm here I feel as though I could be anywhere."

"So if you don't bring girls here, what do you do?"

"I come here to read…write…just get away from everything. When I leave the army I'm thinking of moving in here for a couple of years…living off the land, turning my back on the world, just like Henry David Thoreau."

"Writing your manifesto?" Liv smiled, enjoying the fire, the wine and the image of him living the life of a secluded writer. "That's a little radical for the future Governor of Connecticut isn't it. Thoreau wasn't exactly a conservative."

"Right now I'm not the future anything." He replied, impressed by the reminder of her political knowledge.

"But isn't that the plan…great political future, Governor's mansions and everything that goes with that? You are planning to run someday aren't you?"

He stared down into his wine glass for moment. "That's the plan." He replied.

"You don't seem to have a great deal of conviction." Liv didn't mean to be confrontational but his disillusioned tone infuriated her. "Why do it if it's not what you want?"

"You're too young to understand. The Grant men don't live the lives they want, they live lives of service. My life…my _whole life_ has been about serving my country."

"And the last thing this country needs is another disinterested politician!" Liv wondered if she'd had too much wine. He'd planned a beautiful evening to impress her and she was attacking him. "I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "It's just that politics matter to me…"

"Don't apologise," he interrupted. "You're absolutely right. But I've seen behind the veil and I can assure you, nothing is ever what it seems. Politicians are far from perfect…they're just men."

"And women…"she added, leaning towards him for emphasis.

"And women…"He added. Her movement offered him a welcome view of her cleavage and he began to wonder how on earth they'd ended up discussing politics. He wasn't sure how much longer he could wait.

"I'm not asking for perfection," Liv continued, taking a large swig of her wine, oblivious to the change in his expression. "I'm just asking for a little passion. Is that too much to expect?"

"No. Passion is never too much to expect." His voice had taken on a wistful quality, reminding Liv of what Caty had said earlier. His life was not his own. Even in the silence Liv could feel the weight of expectation and though she couldn't claim to fully understand it she could certainly empathise. A great deal of expectant hope had been placed in her too. She reached out her hand, laying her palm against his cheek and watched as he leaned into it, savouring her touch as though he had been starved for it.

He reached over and pulled her to him, settling her in his lap and burying his face in her neck.

"You smell incredible," he whispered, locking her into his embrace. She didn't speak or push him away; for a long time, she simply let him hold her. There were no demands, no weighty expectations. She simply let him be and with everything that was going on in his life right now, that was a gift. For the first time in his life, Fitz felt that he, without the trappings of his family's situation and fortune, without the lofty potential he felt burdened to live up to, _he_ was enough. That realisation made his heart swell with emotion he couldn't yet name, making him desperate to give her something in return.

They kissed slowly and deeply, her youth and inexperience forcing him to go slow. She had never been touched, never been kissed the way he was doing to her now and he didn't want to frighten her. It was a torment, a test of his usually non-existent restraint. For a moment he considered stopping. If he didn't stop now he didn't know what would happen. But she was weaving her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. Her tongue pushed part of the way into his mouth and his need for her took over. He latched onto her errant tongue, pulling it into his mouth and revelled at the surprised moan of pleasure that escaped her. _That_ _sound_…he would never tire of hearing her.

He had only planned to kiss her but the eager way she responded to him made him want more. He wanted to know what would happen when he touched her more intimately. He carried her to the oversized bed, gently laying her down and hurriedly took off his shirt before joining her. He pulled down the straps of her dress, and kissed her soft, velvety skin, working his way day down to her his fingers went to pull down the bodice, exposing the lush globes to his heated gaze, her eyes shot to his face.

"It's okay" he whispered, as he bent his head and kissed the sensitive skin, "I just want to kiss her here."

He sucked her nipple and watched her mouth open wordlessly before she closed her eyes and began to move restlessly underneath him. He kissed and sucked them both, moulding them with his hands, pushing them up and taking each turgid tip into his mouth.

He needed more. He wanted to feel her come; on his fingers and against his mouth. That would be his gift to her. The moment her reached for the skirt of her dress, she quickly grabbed his hand, stopping its ascent.

"No!" She shook her head frantically, her breathing now laboured.

Fitz looked searchingly into her eyes, "Please…please let me do this for you."

She considered his plea for a moment and then, in a silent gesture of permission, she let go of his hand and settled back against the cushions. That was all the encouragement he needed.

Liv felt as is her body was on fire. From the moment he'd touched her she'd known that she wanted this. The feel of his hands on her skin, on her breasts had created a need in her so primal she could scarcely catch her breath. And now they were caressing the soft skin on her thighs, skin she'd never known was so sensitive until now. Even though he'd said he wanted to give her this, she sensed that he needed this too. He needed her to trust him…and so she did.

As his fingers touched her through the thin, silky fabric of her panties locating the small firm bud nestled there, she allowed her thighs to fall apart, giving in to the throbbing pleasure that was shooting through her. When his skilful fingers moved the now damp fabric aside, Liv gripped the top of his arms in eager anticipation. She couldn't control the startled sob of pleasure that escaped her when he slid on one long finger into her, pushing and pulling it in and out of her.

Liv was frantic with need. Her untutored body led the way and she began to move and arch into him, feeling utterly dependent on him. The pad of his thumb found the sensitive nub hidden between her wet folds and began to draw tender circles. All semblance of control was lost.

"Look at me…"Fitz whispered as he covered her mouth with his, drinking in her sighs and moans. She opened her eyes to find him staring intently at her and was stunned by the hunger, the desire she saw burning in his eyes. For long moments they continued to lock eyes while he continued his tormenting assault on her body.

Lost in the pleasure Fitz was giving her, Liv felt an intense pulsing that began deep in her body and could no longer focus on anything around her. She closed her eyes, mindlessly reaching for it. His fingers never stopped, never stilled and the pulsing suddenly exploded, forcing her to cry out long and loud as her body shuddered uncontrollably.

Fitz waited for the shudders to subside. He couldn't believe the passion she had, and his appetite for her was nowhere near satisfied. "Did you like that?" He asked, his voice hoarse with frustrated need.

Liv couldn't speak. All she could do was nod weakly.

"I think we can do better."

He quickly rid her of her dress and panties; his breathe hitching in his throat at the sight of her gloriously naked body. He pushed her thighs apart, staring down at her glistening wet, centre. _God, she_ _was beautiful_. He needed to taste her. He moved over her, planting compelling kisses down her writhing body and over her firm stomach heading downwards.

"No!" she gasped, and grabbed his hair as if to pull him up. Despite the haze of arousal, she was shocked as she realised he intended to do.

"Yes…"He growled, determined to claim his prize. His mouth closed over her, finding the small swollen nub and gently drawing it into his mouth while running his tongue back and forth over it, playing her like an instrument. She was so warm and wet that Fitz groaned aloud, her sweet, spicy taste leaving him drunk with desire.

Liv's entire world narrowed to the blissful ache building within her as his skilful tongue lapped at her. She didn't recognise her own voice. Part of her felt she should be ashamed of the carnal moans that were coming out of her, but his mouth and fingers were insistent, drawing the sounds out of her. Her hips took on a life of their own, arching up into his mouth riding the crest of pleasure that was coursing through her in undulating waves.

Fitz felt a deep sense of satisfaction at the intensity of her orgasm even as his erection strained painfully against the confinement of his trousers. She had come so hard he had felt it go right through him. As he looked down at her sated body, it thrilled him no end to know that he had been the first. She was still breathless from the pleasure that he had given her and he knew he wanted to be the only. _Mine. _The word rang through his mind repeatedly, filling him with a new found and overwhelming possessiveness. _She's mine._


	4. Chapter 4

She watched him sleep, watched the slow rise and fall of his leanly muscled chest. He looked younger than his twenty six years and she marvelled at the length of his eyelashes, smiling at the boyish quality they lent his handsome face. His mouth, now relaxed seemed softer, fuller than usual and the urge to kiss him made her feel both decadent and shy, especially when she remembered the exceptional skill it possessed. That mouth had kissed every relevant inch of her body; he knew her intimately although they had yet to make love.

He'd told her she wasn't ready, which had seemed selfless at the time, but now seemed like the perfect opportunity squandered. He had broken down the walls of her resistance with surprising ease and she knew that last night, had he asked, she would have given him anything. His touch had produced an explosive reaction in her body, beyond anything she could have imagined and her heart swelled as she remembered the words he had whispered; words meant only for her. She now understood something of what compelled men and women to seek each other out, risking everything for that inexpressible connection.

This was the first time she had ever slept naked, let alone with a man, and she had woken up to find herself draped across his chest, languid and sated. It occurred to her that he'd been partially clothed when she had fallen asleep and she was curious to see if he had remained so. To avoid waking him, she lifted the blanket that now covered him from the waist down with deliberate slowness and was disappointed to see the elasticated waistband of his sensible boxers. As she was toying with the idea of lifting that also, she felt his eyes on her, and dropped the quilt in flushed embarrassment.

"Morning…"he smiled, his voice muffled by sleep. He pulled her tighter against him, running one hand luxuriously over her bare backside.

"Morning…"she replied, already feeling breathless, stimulated by the slightly rough texture of his questing hand. After last night she felt a surge of boldness, and spurred on by her burgeoning arousal she leaned over and placed a small kiss on his mouth, running her hand through his dark, sleep-tousled hair. Her kiss was light and teasing as she ran her tongue over his lips, flirting with his mouth. Her curious fingers spread across his chest enjoying the feel of the soft hair that covered it and worked their way down the hard plane of his stomach.

"Wait a minute…"He grabbed her wrist, halting its provocative descent. "Don't start something we can't finish."

Despite his protest, Liv could feel his breathing becoming shallow, feeling gratified by the incendiary affect her touch had on him. She couldn't help but put her new found powers to the test. She moved over him, pressing her breasts into his chest and rubbed her lips teasingly over his. She straddled his hips, drawing a surprised groan from him, and deepened the kiss, pulling his tongue into her mouth before retreating, forcing him to chase after the sensual contact. He gripped her thighs in anticipation.

"Who says we can't?" she asked, effortlessly playing the provocateur and trailing kisses along his jaw and down to hollow of his neck. His breathing became more laboured as he tried, valiantly, to resist her.

"Liv don't," he pleaded. His resolve was weakening rapidly.

"Isn't this why you brought me here last night?" She let the question hang in the air.

"Yes…"he answered distracted by the warmth radiating from her body, his mind wrestling with the fact that only a pair of thin cotton boxers lay between them. "But you weren't ready." A look of amused incredulity flashed across her face and the memory of her clinging to him, overcome with passion was almost his undoing. "Trust me…" he continued, "you're not ready. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"But I want to," she whispered, planting a kiss on his chest and raising her wide, searching eyes to meet his. She rubbed her lips against his with whisper soft tenderness and Fitz hungrily took the kiss she was offering, winding his fingers through her hair and feasting on her soft pliant mouth.

It had taken near supernatural strength and fortitude not to make love to her last night and the frustrated need was still raw. Sleeping beside her had been a torment and now she was trying her hand at seduction. The combination of innocence and ardour made him question his sanity. He regretted his altruism now, but it was too late. Morning had arrived and he needed to head back to base.

"Livvie…" he gripped her hair, gently pulling it, forcing himself to break their kiss before they got too carried away. "We can't," he repeated with every ounce of conviction her could muster. "I need to get you back to the house. I have to get back to New Jersey."

Her body ached for him but she heard the determination in his voice. She rolled off him, fighting the urge to wrap herself in the bed sheet to hide her embarrassment. "So you don't want to…?" She couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"Believe me," Fitz replied, groaning with frustration, "I want to. It's just that last night I thought you weren't ready…that it was too soon." He was grasping for words to reassure her. "Maybe I was wrong but if we made love now…it wouldn't…" he paused, once again drawing her to him and caressing her face reverently. Even now, disappointment marring her features, he couldn't believe how lovely she was. "I want to take my time with you…" He paused, an idea forming in his mind. "Why don't we just come back here next weekend? I can pick you up Saturday morning and have you back by Sunday…that is…if you want to…if you think you're ready?"

Liv fought the urge to kiss him; she wanted to say yes without appearing too eager. She was ready. "I'm sure I can find the time," she replied.

"Next weekend it is…" Fitz couldn't restrain himself and pulled her in for a long, unhurried kiss. "I can't wait…" he breathed against her mouth, finally coming up for air, "I can't wait to finally make you mine".

They were slow to leave the cabin, unwilling to leave the intimacy of the secret world they had created; a place that no one inhabited but them. Now they were going back to face questions and scrutiny and Liv already missed the seclusion. Last night he had been hers. Now he was going back to being Fitzgerald Grant; back to a world where he belonged to everyone else except her.

They had walked back to the house, neither saying a word, lost in their own thoughts. He'd held her for a long time, reluctant to let her go; but duty called. Their last kiss had been slow and lingering, filled with unspent passion. Both savoured it as though it would be their last. He renewed his promise that they would be together, sooner rather than later, and despite the certainty in his voice, Liv watched him leave with an inexplicable heaviness in her heart.

xXx

"I know you didn't sleep in your bed last night so where were you?" Caty marched into the blue room as Liv was packing the last of her belongings. There was clearly not going to be any small talk and preamble. "I'm not sure if I _want _to hear what went on, but for your sake I think I should. Start talking."

"What happened to 'sparing you the details'?" Liv carried on organising her suitcase.

"Don't sass me…" Caty stood with both hands planted on her hips and gave Liv the sternest look she could muster. "After the shabby way you and Fitz treated me last night you owe me some kind of explanation…You're welcome, by the way"

"I've been feeling guilty about that all morning…" Liv placed her hands around Caty's hips, pulling her into a conciliatory hug. "You're a better friend than I deserve."

"I'll accept that," Caty was easily placated, "But it doesn't get you off the hook…Where were you last night?"

Liv contemplated maintaining her secrecy for a moment but there was no use pretending; she was dying to tell her. "He showed me the cabin down by the lake." she said, unaware of the dreamlike quality her voice had taken on."

"He took you to the cabin?" Caty looked stunned. "He loves that cabin more than anything else in the world. I'm not even allowed anywhere near it! He really pulled out all the stops didn't he?" She gave Liv an assessing look, as if seeing her for the first time. "I don't know whether to be proud or angry with you for making me worry."

"Proud?" Liv raised her eyebrows at Caty's odd turn of phrase.

"Well no offense Livvie, but you seem so…innocent…virginal…lacking in knowledge of the ways of the world. I never imagined you would spend the night with a man you met only a week ago. I think I may be underestimating you." She sat down crossed legged on the bed and patted the space beside her. "I can see you're dying to share so you may as well tell me everything."

"Won't this be uncomfortable for you?" Liv asked warily, uncertain of how much would be appropriate to share.

"No! I love hearing people's 'first time' stories. It's very life affirming." She sat cross legged on the bed and looked at Liv expectantly.

"Well actually, we didn't…not all the way anyway. He said I wasn't ready." Liv, flopped down next to her, exasperated.

"Oh…"Caty's eyes were wide with disbelief.

"Exactly! Does that seem strange to you? I mean, I thought when it came to sex men were always desperate for it?"

"They are…usually. Unless…and I know this is a wild idea Liv but maybe…just maybe…he respects you."

Liv rolled her eyes dismissively, "Caty, last night, the last thing I needed was respect."

"Oh my God," Caty threw her head back in raucous laughter and looked up to the heavens. "What have you done with my friend Livvie?"

"Don't get me wrong, it was perfect; the cabin, the fire…everything was perfect." She let out a long sigh. "I just wanted…more."

"And you're disappointed that he didn't ravish you?" Caty asked both amused and understanding.

"Yes!" Liv threw herself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling in dismay. "I practically ended up begging him." She covered her face as if to hide from her embarrassment.

"Oh my god…"Caty dissolved into sympathetic laughter, "and he still said no?"

"He said he had to leave but that he would make time for us to be together." She gave a shy smile, "He's bringing me back to the cabin next weekend."

The amusement disappeared from Caty's face and she gave Liv a measured look before she finally spoke. "I'm all for women being sexually liberated…in your case, I welcome it. I just hope you can handle what you're getting yourself in to."

"What do you mean?" Liv didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"I mean that this situation with Fitz could get very complicated very quickly." She took both of Liv's hands between hers and continued. "I wouldn't be any kind of friend if I didn't say what I'm about to say to you now. My parents, no matter how tolerant and accepting they pretend to be will have a major problem with you and Fitz." Liv tried to pull away, but Caty tightened her grasp. "You can tell to me to mind my own business and I will, but the last thing I want is to see you get hurt. You haven't exactly chosen the easiest person to get involved with."

Liv finally managed to pull herself free and walked out onto the balcony. "I never asked for this to happen, Caty." She heard her friend walk up behind her. "I never expected you…or this…"she motioned to the breath-taking lake view"…and I certainly never expected Fitz." She forced back the tears that were burning the back of her eyes. "I feel like I've been caught up in a whirlwind. He makes me feel reckless…I lose track of who I am…of who I'm supposed to be. When he looks at me…" she shook her head uncomprehendingly, "he has these eyes that see everything. I never knew that having a man look at you could make you feel so incredible. When I'm with him I feel like the most powerful woman in the world and when he touches me…" She paused, "When he touches me…" She could not find the words to voice the intensity of her feelings.

"So you've fallen in love with him?" Caty asked, sounding almost fearful of the answer.

The question shocked Liv, not just because her friend seen through her but because the mention of that small, simple yet monumental word had been so startling. Love. Liv was finally able to give a name to the joy, the pleasure and the fear that had been her experience over the last two days.

"Yes…" Her voice was barely above a whisper, as though speaking the word aloud would break it.

Caty wrapped her arms around her and they stood, staring out into the distance embracing each other knowing that Olivia's whispered admission had changed both of their lives forever.

xXx

It was just before 10am when Fitz arrived back at Fort Hamilton. The base was always quiet on Sunday and as he headed for his office, he was grateful for the silence. His main reason for going home had been to plan a course of action regarding the Mellie situation and he had barely given it a moment's thought. But since last night things had changed, simplified, and he was ready for the inevitable summons that would arrive from Colonel Adler.

There were last minute adjustments to be made to the junior officer's training schedule and he had a growing mountain of paperwork to get through before Monday morning. He was just settling in, eager to get stuck in when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" he shouted, irritated at the early interruption.

"Hello stranger," Mellie purred from the doorway and Fitz tensed at the sight of her. Suddenly he wished there were more personnel around, just in case he needed witnesses. "I saw your car pull in, I hope I'm not interrupting you."

"Well actually I have a ridiculous amount of paperwork to get through…"He paused. She seemed nervous, which was completely unlike her, and even he was not proof to the hopeful look on her face, "…but I guess I can spare a few minutes."

She sat down in the chair opposite him and he waited for her to speak, dreading where this conversation would lead.

"So you went back to Connecticut again this weekend?"

"Yes…I needed time to think…about us. Why are you checking up on me?"

"I wasn't _checking _exactly, I needed to talk to you. I've been thinking about us too..." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Telling my father anything about us was a mistake…a petty, childish mistake and I'm sorry."

"You're apologising?" A reluctant smile tugged at his lips. "That has to be a first for you, Mels"

"I was disappointed…can you blame me?" she shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant gesture. "I thought we had a good thing going…You know how I get when I want something." She stood up and sauntered round to his side of the desk and sat down, her leg almost touching his.

Fitz maintained a wary silence. She was up to something.

"You have the brightest of bright futures Fitz. Daddy says if you play your cards right you could have it all. The Governorship…even the White House."

"For God's sake Mellie…" Fitz was about to stand up and show her out the door when she held up her hand, forcing him back into his seat.

"Protest all you want but don't hate me for believing in you, for wanting the best for you…which includes me." She ran a perfectly manicure finger down the centre of his chest and Fitz shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This was the Mellie he was recognised.

"You find my ambition charming Fitz…we have fun. We've always had fun." She leaned in closer, almost whispering. "There was a time you couldn't get enough of me. What's changed?"

He pushed his chair backward, restoring the space between them. "I don't like being pressured Mellie; I get enough of that from my parents and I resent you giving them the impression I planned to marry you." He watched her shrink back and knew that his works were hitting their mark "And besides all that, I'm not in love with you; I never was; so you can tell your father to put his shotgun away." He could hear the cruelty in his voice and considered softening his tone, but there was no need; Mellie's appreciation for blunt truth was one of her more endearing qualities. "And this seems as good a time as any to let you know… I've met someone."

"Really?" He had never seen her so taken aback. "Well that was pretty fast work… who is she?" Her eyes narrowed as she regarded him coolly.

"She's a friend of Caty's," he answered, feeling a slightly morbid satisfaction at the effect this news would have on her.

"You cannot be serious Fitz." She was horrified. "That explains why you've been spending so much time at home. Please don't tell me my competition is an 18 year old girl? You're 26 years old for god's sake, what could she possibly have to offer you? You forget that I know you very well." Mellie's tone had gone from hostile to sensual in the blink of an eye and Fitz was reminded just how mercurial and unpredictable she could be. "You have needs a naïve college undergrad could never hope to meet."

"And you can?" he shot back, realizing too late that she was baiting him.

"You know I can." She gave a sultry answering smile.

Fitz couldn't deny that there had once been some truth to Mellie's words. He'd never known a woman with greater sexual confidence and this had always intrigued him about her. She never questioned herself. She was unashamedly aggressive with a voracious, indulgent appetite and during the long months on the army base surrounded by thousands of men, his desire for her had hit him like freight train. He had been flattered that the Colonel's fiery, adventurous daughter had chosen him.

"Mellie, we would never work." Cruelty hadn't worked so he tried reasoning instead. "We don't have anything in common, not really. Eventually we would have nothing but resentment for each other. I've seen the kind of partnership you're taking about my whole and believe me, you don't want that."

"Fitz, honey, that dried up old husk of a marriage your parents have is not what I aspire to. I wouldn't be here if I thought_ that_ is how we would end up." He should have been offended by her unflattering description of his parent's marriage but it was true.

"We're going round in circles Mellie and I can't keep having this conversation with you. Marriage is out of the question. Can't we just settle for friendship instead?" Fitz asked, already knowing what the answer would be."

Mellie threw her head back and laughed, "You and I could be many things, Fitzgerald, never just friends."

"Well that's all I can offer you, Mels" His dismissive tone signalled the end of the conversation.

"Have it your way," She said flippantly, hopping off his desk. "Maybe this is something you need to get out of your system. I can be patient when I need to be. But know this…" she paused dramatically, "When you get tired of fooling around…I'll be waiting."

xXx

Fitz spent the next three hours perfecting the programme that had been borne of three months of tireless effort, negotiation and compromise. It was ready, and starting tomorrow would finally go live. It was the culmination of all he had learned in his years of Military service and he felt honoured to be able to pass his knowledge along to young, ambitious officers who were eager to grow and develop.

He felt a surge of relief as he recalled the conversation with Mellie. He couldn't have hoped for a smoother outcome to that potential nightmare. He knew any real friendship between them was impossible but at least the notion of marriage had been firmly dealt with. His parents would learn to deal with the disappointment.

The memory of last night filled him with growing satisfaction. He missed her already. In six long days, he would pick Olivia up from school and they would have a full 24 hours together. He sat back in his oversized leather chair, allowing his fervid imagination to wander, filling his head with torrid images of all the things they would do. The sudden ring of the phone jolted him out of his fantasy. It was Colonel Adler.

"Good afternoon, Colonel" Fitz was surprised the Colonel was calling himself. "What can I do for you?"

"No need for all that formality, son. I just wanted to invite you over for lunch, if you can make yourself available. Lucille is making her roast chicken which is bound to be better than whatever concoction they're serving in the mess. Mellies gone off somewhere with that Townsend girl and I could use some decent company. Be at the house in fifteen." With that, he hung up leaving Fitz staring at the receiver in uneasy surprise.

Fitz arrived at the house with a minute to spare, and was shown to the Colonel's study by the housekeeper. Ordinarily, he would have enjoyed an impromptu visit to the Colonel's home, but since the Mellie situation, which had now been amicably resolved, he felt decided uncomfortable. He found the Colonel sitting behind his large wooden desk dressed in civilian clothes and smoking a pungent, fat cigar.

"Would you care to try one?" He held the box towards Fitz who politely declined. "Lunch should be ready in exactly…"He checked his heavy gold wristwatch, "Ten minutes. Pour yourself a drink if you'd care for one. Make mine a Scotch."

Fitz poured the drinks, unable to shake the feeling that something was out of place. He felt like he's been called to the principal's office, yet he couldn't quite fathom exactly what he'd done wrong. He handed the Colonel his drink before taking a reluctant seat.

"Sir, if this is about Mellie…" he decided to bring her up before the Colonel did.

"Mellie can take care of herself." He waived a dismissive hand at the mention of his daughter, "You know that as well as I do." He paused, studying his hands for a few moments before continuing. "I do, however, have something important I need to discuss with you."

Fitz decided to hold off from drinking until he had heard what the Colonel had to say.

"I know you've been following the situation up in Montgomery. These bus boycotts are dragging on longer than anyone expected and things are getting a little restless up there." This had certainly not been the conversation Fitz had expected.

"King has been targeted, a few churches have been hit; nothing out of hand yet but things could escalate. These boycotters, these troublemakers, are making a lot of noise up there and I've been asked to send someone out there, just to check out the lay of the land, so to speak. I was asked to put forward a recommendation and I chose you."

Fitz realized he had been right to feel uneasy. "But Sir, surely there are personnel based in Alabama who could be of more use?"

"Save that silver tongued diplomacy for when you get there. You're gonna need it. I recommended you because of your political connections and, quite frankly, your political aspirations. I only have you under my command for six more months…I have to make use of you somehow. I know you've picked up a thing or two from that daddy o' yours."

Fitz felt numb. "Why me, sir? Why now? They're not seriously considering sending in the military are they? To what end? I understood that the policy of the boycotters so far has been non-violence."

"You're not being asked to do anything fancy, just a few threat estimates from either side. No need to alarm anyone. Patterson and his boys aren't letting things slide and that rabble-rouser King has reportedly brought in some new people that he's consulting with. Just go up there and put a good face on things." The Colonel finished off the last of his drink and motioned to Fitz to pour him another one.

"Sir, what exactly is there to put a good face on? The judge ruled in favour of the boycotters." Fitz decided to give voice to the suspicion that the Colonel was not being entirely truthful with him. "Sir, is there something else going on?"

The Colonel was apoplectic. "I'll pretend you didn't just ask me that soldier. You're an Officer in United States Army and you are being asked to do your job. The president would like to see an end to this public relations nightmare and I'm giving you the opportunity to ride in and be the hero. I'm thinking about your future."

"I meant no disrespect, Colonel" Fitz answered in appeasement, "and I'm sure this assignment is of the utmost importance, but what about the Trojan? Three months of hard work and dedication have gone into building this programme and I can't just…"

"You can and you will," the Colonel interrupted, although some of his anger had abated. "I'm assigning Rogers to take over, you've groomed him for long enough. He should be able to handle it. I expect you to leave the base by 0900 tomorrow morning. Is that understood?"

"Understood Colonel. Who will I be reporting to?" Fitz knew that any further resistance was futile.

"You will report to me and no-one else. Like I said, no need to make a big song and dance about it but we'll meet before you leave to discuss the particulars."

"How long do need me up there for?" An assignment like this could be completed in a few days.

"A month or so should suffice. It all depends on the information you gather. We'll play it by ear."

Fitz felt utterly helpless, as though he were watching a tragic accident play out before his eyes and was powerless to prevent it. This was a stark, humbling reminder that he was pawn in a game others were playing. He sat through his meal with the Colonel and, as was expected of him, pretended to participate in and enjoy the jovial banter. But his mind was elsewhere, focused on a rustic lakeside cabin he had no hope of returning to any time soon and a beautiful, trusting girl who had all of a sudden, been cruelly snatched out of his reach.

xXx


	5. Chapter 5

Settling back into the familiarity of campus routine should have been easy, but for Olivia nothing was the same. Everything seemed fuelled by the warm glow of the weekend that had passed and the anticipation of all that was to come. For two days now she had been consumed with thoughts of Fitz; a deliciously welcome distraction from mundane realities that centred on an old cabin. Their cabin. There they were hidden from the prying eyes of the world, with no parental or societal disapproval to contend with. She was in love. Everything seemed different and new and the change in her was irreversible.

But in the last hour, she had received news that threatened to sour the blissful memory of their night together. Her happiness, it seemed, was only to be fleeting. As she clutched the letter that had been pushed under her door, her previous joy seemed irretrievable. She had found her way to the old tree that she and Raymond had adopted as their own, and read it three times, as though something in it would change.

_Dearest Olivia_

_I pray this letter reaches you well before Saturday. I've been called away on a matter of great urgency and as I write to you, I'm on a train, headed for Alabama. By the time you get this letter, I will already be in Montgomery. I feel a little ridiculous writing a letter as if I'm going off to war, although God only knows what I'll encounter in the South._

_I don't expect to be back in Connecticut for at least a month, but everything feels very uncertain right now so I can't say anything for sure. I am desperately sorry. I feel as though for the first time in my life I wanted something purely for myself, but as always, circumstances conspire and I'm being punished for my selfishness. I can hardly think of anything but you. You have become the substance of all of my dreams. I wish I had kept something of you, besides the memories that have been my constant companions since that night; something tangible that I could touch when I need to be reminded of you._

_It's been an impossible task trying to find the right words to express how disappointed I am that our plan for this weekend has come to nothing. I hesitate to make another promise but please believe me when I say that I will find another way for us to be together. I'm resourceful and frustrated desire has made me more determined than ever. I read somewhere that hope deferred makes the heart sick, a sentiment I never fully understood until now. I long to see you._

_I'm afraid my words won't be enough, that my broken promise has spoilt things between us just as we were starting something amazing. Am I alone in feeling like this? Please write to me. Tell me what you think, how you feel. Be angry with me if you must, I don't care. As long as I can hold your words in my hands and smell your perfume on the paper._

_Please take care of Caty and don't let her read this letter, no matter how much she pesters you. _

_I'll write to you again soon._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Fitz._

As she read, there were moments when her heart would soar and more than anything she wanted to believe him. His letter seemed so heartfelt and sincere she could almost hear him say the words in that earnest, sensual way of his. She could almost see the furrow in his brow as he wrote but that did nothing to quell her disappointment. She felt like an utter fool.

Shielded from the view of passer's by, she let the tears flow. She flushed with shame as she recalled the intimate things she had allowed him to do to her body and how needy and undignified she must have seemed, tactless in her eagerness for him to make love to her. She had laid aside everything her mother had taught her and ignored the considerate warnings her friend had given. Now all she was left with was the bittersweet residue of disenchanted hope.

It wasn't his fault and it was useless to blame him but…Alabama? It may as well have been another country. His tone was apologetic, but she couldn't contain the frustrated anger that was threatening to choke out all reason. Why didn't he call her the moment his plans had changed instead of allowing her to spend two full days getting carried away with childish dreams and premature fantasies?

She wanted nothing more than to hold onto the reassurances he offered but disappointment would not allow her to do it. Her hope was now so fragile that even a beautifully worded letter couldn't restore it. She wiped angrily at the unwelcome tears that were streaming down her face.

"What's going on, Olivia?" Raymond's unexpected voice made her jump. She tried to quickly brush the tears away from her face and hurriedly folded the letter away.

"Ray…Hi…I didn't see you…it's nothing…" She turned her face to hide the evidence of her heartache and rapidly folded the letter way. He watched her in sympathetic silence.

She fought back a fresh flood of tears but as Raymond sad beside her and ran a soothing hand down her back, the battle was lost and she gave into the sobs. Ray wordlessly pulled her into the soothing cocoon of his arms. She felt a surge of relief that he had come along. She was becoming reliant on his easy, undemanding company.

Only when her tears had subsided did Raymond speak. "Is he really worth all these tears?"

"It's not what you think Ray." She protested, feeling somewhat depleted.

"Really?" he quirked, raising an eyebrow. "At least let me flatter myself with the idea that you turned me down for another man." He used the sleeve of his white Oxford shirt to dry her sodden face. "Who is he?" He placed a brief kiss on the top of her head and pulled her in closer. The effect was sobering and Liv hastily pulled out of his arms which suddenly felt strange and unfamiliar. If he was offended, he didn't show it, his face remained a picture of concern, his manner still attentive.

"You wouldn't know him…" she sat upright, avoiding his questioning gaze. "It doesn't matter anyway because things are not what I thought." Although she trusted Ray, she wasn't ready to tell him about Fitz. Not yet.

"They never are," He replied cryptically. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to go home," Liv replied, speaking more to herself than to him, "… to sleep in my own bed…hear my mother's voice…get a hug from my father…even if it's just for one night."

"Can your mother cook?" Raymond asked and Liv gave a puzzled nod of affirmation. "In that case, I'll take you home."

"I can't ask you to do that." It was the polite thing to say but Liv knew she would accept his generous offer. "I'm sure you have your own plans."

"I do." Raymond replied with a decisive nod. "I'm driving a beautiful girl home to see her folks."

Richard Pope was a medical doctor, a hardworking man who respected the Sciences but preferred to view his work as a healing art. He had a calm exterior that never seemed to betray the sheer depth of feeling buried within him. He led, a simple ordered life, but still longed to be overwhelmed by passion, which, to his wife's dismay, led him to overindulge every opportunity he got. He was secretly romantic and liked to think that in another life he would have been an artist of some sort, most likely a poet.

Maybelle was his near perfect counterpart. She was a beautiful woman, fiery and temperamental and brimming with old world biblical wisdom; a side effect of growing up with a charismatic preacher for a father. She liked to imagine that she was the true calming influence in the household and kept a tight rein on her small, close-knit family with the sheer force of her iron-like will.

If you had asked them separately about their daughter, they would have given vastly different interpretations of her character. Richard would have described her as kind, sensitive and wonderfully affectionate while Maybelle would have tutted and listed words like "stubborn", "hard-headed" and "impetuous". But together they knew that Olivia was their masterpiece, their perfect creation, and they wanted nothing less than the whole world for her.

The drive to the New York suburb that Olivia had grown up in had been unnervingly quick. Raymond paid little attention to speed limits and viewed traffic lights as little more than a casual suggestion. Liv was relieved when the journey was over. She hadn't told her parents she was coming home and as they sat in Ray's car in the drive way, Liv began to wonder if coming home had been the best idea.

She had been too preoccupied with Raymond's erratic driving to give much thought to what her parents would think of him. She knew them well enough to know they would jump to all the wrong conclusions and assume she had brought him home to seek their approval. Had that been a real concern, she needn't have worried. Both her parents came out to greet them and if they were surprised at Raymond's presence they hid it well. They had taken one look at his well turned out attire and registered the eloquence with which he spoke and greeted him with all the welcome and joy of a returning prodigal. Ray was excessively charming and knew all the right things to say to impress Liv's quietly ambitious parents.

"So Raymond, what are you studying?" They were seated at dinner and Maybelle had prepared the same meal for Ray that she usually reserved for the Pastor Jacobs' visits on Sunday.

"I'm studying engineering, ma'am," he replied, "I'm fascinated by how things are or rather how they come to be the way they are."

"That sounds very poetic…for an engineer…are you sure literature wouldn't have been more your speed?" Maybelle asked with an indulgent smile.

"Quite sure, Mrs Pope," Raymond laughed. "My father is a session musician…Jazz saxophone…and my mother is a writer…she writes novella's mostly. You may have read some of her work. Her last work was a collection of short stories called 'From Fire and Rage'…it was very well received…" No-one seemed to recognize the title. "Anyway, they are two fiercely creative people who can't figure out how on earth between them they managed to produce an engineer."

"You seem like a very sensible character, in spite of it all" Maybelle quipped, "Perhaps you can tell us if Olivia is behaving herself. We hear so little from her these days." She was taking advantage of Ray's unassuming openness.

"I'm sure she's everything you're raised her to be, Mrs Pope" Raymond replied diplomatically and had to suppress a laugh at the murderous look Liv threw his way. He was laying it on thick, but her parents didn't seem to notice or care.

"Very well said," Richard nodded and smiled, unable to hide how impressed he was by Ray's effortless manners and skilled politeness.

"How are you finding the situation on campus? Is there much tension between whites and blacks?"

"Mama…" Olivia jumped in mid bite, covering her mouth to hide her half masticated food,"…can you please let Raymond eat without the interrogation?"

"Who's interrogating? I'm showing an interest in your friend, if you don't mind. Besides, I think this question is particularly relevant." She turned her attention back to Ray, waiting for an answer.

"It's too early to tell," he replied. "At the moment things are better than I could have hoped, although I'm quite philosophical about it. 'Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can anyone deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It is beyond me.'"

"…And he quotes Zora Neale Hurston." Richard threw a knowing look at his wife. Maybelle was so gratified with Ray's answer that for the next few moments, she allowed them to eat in undisturbed peace.

"Besides Raymond, have you made any other friends yet?" The question was directed at Liv.

"I've met a pretty amazing girl actually. We met the very first day too." Liv felt a pang of guilt as she remembered that in her desperation to escape, she had left that morning without saying goodbye. "Her name is Caty…Catherine Grant…she's quite particular about her name…"

"That's Grant as in _Governor _Grant." Raymond interrupted. "Liv is moving in very lofty circles already. In fact," Raymond took a sip of his drink for emphasis, "didn't you spent last weekend at the Governor's mansion Liv?"

All attention at the table turned to her and Liv would have gladly gouged Raymond with the sharp tines of her fork.

"So that's why we didn't hear from you…" her father winked, hiding a playful smile.

"You met the Governor?" her mother was aghast.

"No mama, he wasn't there." Liv tried to bury her exasperation but her mother was making it impossible. "Caty invited me for the weekend. We just read and swam and hung out by the lake."

"So am I to understand that you two girls were all alone…without a responsible, supervising adult? Why is this the first we're hearing about this Cathy girl?" The pitch of her voice was rising and

"Her older brother was there…he's a Captain in the United States Military, mama. Is that responsible enough for you?" Her tone was laced with disrespectful sarcasm. "We were fine mama, we're not children. I can take perfectly good care of myself."

"Oh, her older brother…well that makes everything ok then." Maybelle was irritated and put down her fork, ready to question Liv further.

"Maybelle…" She hesitated at the clear warning in Richard's voice.

"Doesn't this sound a little strange to you?" Maybelle gave her husband a wide-eyed questioning look. "The least she could have done was let us know where she was going. Why the secrecy?"

Liv glared at Raymond who gave an unconvincingly apologetic shrug. He was enjoying this.

"I wasn't being secretive, mama, I just didn't tell you." The look she gave her mother was one of pure defiance. "I figured if I could handle college in another state, I could handle a perfectly innocent weekend with a friend without needing your permission." A stunned silence rang round the table. Liv knew the conversation was far from over but Maybelle remembered her upbringing and refused to be seen as argumentative, especially in front of Raymond. With one final intake of breathe she picked up her fork and ate the rest of her meal in moody and resentful silence.

Dinner had been over for less than two hours and everyone seemed to think it best to get an early night. Liv had hidden out in her room, but she felt restless and couldn't quell the need to get out of the house. She felt suffocated; the once comfortable confines of her old life didn't seem to fit anymore. She knocked quietly on the door just down the hall from her.

"Ray? Are you asleep?" She whispered loudly through the door.

"Would it matter if I was?" He answered.

"I thought you might want to get out of here…there's a place I want to show you." She knew her words guaranteed a response.

Ray opened the door. "What place?"

"It's called 'Lover's Point'…it's really just a clearing surrounded by enormous trees, but in high school, people went there to park." Raymond looked intrigued. "Not that I'm suggesting anything, I just thought we could talk."

"Did you ever bring any boys to make out with?" Ray pulled on shirt and picked up his jacket. The evening had just made a vast improvement.

"No boys," she answered wryly. "You have met my mother haven't you?"

"So you've never been kissed?" he asked in disbelief.

"I didn't say that…" she smiled cryptically and tiptoed downstairs, leading the way out of the front door.

"You are so damned mysterious." Ray remarked as he followed eagerly in her wake.

They drove in silence, through the streets that Liv had grown up in and parked in the middle of Lover's Point. There were a few old picnic tables dotted around the clearing and the trees surrounding it seemed to form a perfect circle. This was the first time Liv had ever been there at night, and they were grateful to find they were alone. The moon seemed to hang wonderfully low and provided the perfect amount of light. As they listened to the soft music from the radio, Raymond pulled out what looked like a short slim cigarette.

"Clearly I'm not the only one shrouded in mystery." Liv watched as he lit it. "I didn't know you smoked."

"Only at weekends…" He took a deep drag and let out a satisfied exhale.

"Is that a marijuana cigarette?" Liv was shocked.

"Yes…although it's actually called a joint. It's medicinal." He gave a mischievous smile.

"Oh really?" Liv replied. "Maybe I should as my father about it?" She heard him choke with laughter. "Why do you smoke it?"

"It helps you enjoy the present moment." He answered. "Opens up your mind…helps you see things you might otherwise miss?"

"Can I try some?"

"Absolutely not," he sputtered with surprise. "It's far too strong for you. You couldn't handle it."

Liv exploded. "I'm getting a little tired of being treated like a little girl…tired of men telling me what I am or am not ready for." She crossed her arms and glared angrily at him. "Just teach me how to smoke it."

Raymond was not proof to her demand. "Okay…come here…" he drew her closer to him and took another long drag of the joint. He moved closer still, till their faced were no more than an inch apart. "Open your mouth and breathe in."

Liv dutifully parted her lips and inhaled the long curl of smoke Ray blew into her mouth.

"Hold your breath for a couple of seconds," Ray instructed, and Liv's cheeks puffed out comically as she held her breath. He throat burned and she felt like her lungs were about to burst. She sputtered out her breath and gave in to a dramatic coughing fit before looking Ray square in the eye and smiling.

"Again…" she challenged.

"Liv, this stuff is really strong. I don't think…" he stopped, registering the warning in her expression.

"Okay, one more…" He blew more pungent smoke into her mouth and watched as she held her breath. This time she didn't cough and let the air flow out of her mouth gracefully. She lay down on the warm bonnet of the car, stretched her arms over her head, arched her back like a well fed cat and gave a satisfied smirk.

"I must be immune or something 'cause I feel absolutely fine."

"Sure…"Raymond smile as he lay down beside her and carried on smoking. They both stared up at the night sky in contented silence.

Liv suddenly felt inexplicably happy. "I love the night time, don't you? Everything seems to mean more at night. Even conversations seem more significant at night…I mean, look at the stars. You can't even see them until night comes and look how many there are. Oh my god, there are so many of them. How far back do you think they go? It's like they're little pieces of the sun so small that you need the backdrop of night to see them…sun shrapnel. That's such a funny word…_shrapnel_…it actually sounds like what actually is…little pieces of shrap."

"Oh lord…" Raymond groaned, but it was just the beginning.

"I really want to go swimming…naked…swim and eat crème brulee. Oh I wish I hadn't said 'crème brulee', now I'm starving. Do you have any food in your car? God, food seems so far away." She paused, momentarily. "Can you imagine what it must have been like to hunt and kill your own food? Once we visited my uncle who has a farm in Maine and I actually watched my aunt kill and gut a chicken for dinner. Can you imagine that? It was the worst thing I have ever seen…So much death and destruction…just so we could have fried chicken. We humans are pretty awful don't you think? We actually kill things just so we can eat."

"This is all very fascinating, Liv. I must remember to write this all down." Ray was beginning to regret allowing her to smoke.

"I am not the same person today as I was a few days ago." Liv's thought process had taken another dramatic turn. "I thought coming home would help…put everything in perspective, but it's this joint. This joint has put everything into perspective." She laughed. "Please can we leave tomorrow morning…as early as possible? I never knew it was possible to change so much so quickly. I knew it as soon as we walked into the house and I saw nothing but perfectly polished veneers. I wanted to take a sharp object and leave great big ugly scars all over it. I'm not sure where I belong, Raymond. How can one week…one person…do so much damage?"

"You're eighteen years old, Liv. Who says you have to have all the answers. Be a bystander for a while. Whatever is going on with you, just let it happen."

"Is that how you do it…how you seem so certain of everything?" She looked at him with all the innocence of a lost child.

"No. The secret is realizing that no-one is certain of anything, so I don't have to be either." Ray got off the bonnet of the car and held out a hand to Liv, "I better get you home before your parents realize you're missing. I'm not sure your mother could handle any more of you for one day."

Liv didn't go straight to bed. Her mind felt still and her thoughts were sharpened by a new found clarity. She decided it was the perfect time to write back to Fitz and knew exactly what she wanted to say.

_Dear Fitz_

_I'll probably regret everything I've written the moment I send this letter to you but there is kind of safety in writing things down and in light of what happened between us, I've resolved to stir up my courage and say everything I feel is necessary. _

_On the surface of it our lives may seem to have a hint of similarity but we belong to two completely different worlds. You are white and I am black and in this country, that difference is almost insurmountable. We were thrown together for two days and you weren't sensitive enough to realize that could have been all the time we would have together. You wrote about circumstances conspiring against you but you're wrong. I don't blame circumstance or your responsibilities, I blame you. I blame you entirely. You're older, apparently wiser and yet you were careless with the opportunity that was given to you._ _We should have made love and I am glad that you have had time to regret it._

_I am not as breakable or as delicate as you seem to think and I'm tired of people assuming they know what's best for me. I don't even know what is best for me and as a friend just reminded me, I don't need to just yet. I don't need to be protected from life, I need to experience it. _

_That's all I have to say to you. You know where I am and you know how you can reach me. Whenever you are ready, come and find me. I will be waiting for you. _

_Yours faithfully_

_Olivia._


End file.
